Thursday, April 14, 2011

A Yoga ... Competition?

A yoga competition? I know, it makes no sense.

Entering my photo in the Yoga Journal Talent Search has irked me, bringing up many different conflicting emotions.

One of the reasons I so much enjoy yoga, after a long journey through competitive gymnastics then collegiate diving, is the absence of competition. In fact, the minute you try to "compete" in yoga, you end up looking like a total fool. Which is what I feel like entering this competition.

Competition in yoga, however, is not a foreign concept. Apparently,  intellectual debates between masters of various spiritual traditions were a vibrant part of ancient Indian culture. Nowadays in Tibetan Buddhist monasteries, the monks also participate in intellectual debates. 

So, where'd we go wrong?

For better or worse, competition is embedded into the very fabric of American culture. From schools, sports, jobs, to comparing yourself to your neighbor or your siblings. And I HATE it. I never liked the idea of having to be the BEST according to someone else's rules.

I've always loved to push myself and see myself grow, but I've always hated the icky feelings that come with not winning when I so much wanted to. Or the resulting feelings that I just wasn't good enough. 

Today's culture of competition can involve a "die-hard" attitude about winning. As in blindly winning at all costs. Healthy competition involves a respect for others, and a respect for yourself. 

It is easy to get swept up in the idea that winning will make us "happy". Or, that doing a difficult pose makes us more of a yogi. But we all know winning rarely brings lasting happiness. 

So if competing brings up feelings of unworthiness if we don't win, and fleeting happiness when we do win, why do it at all? A good Buddhist teacher would take the opportunity here to point out that this sounds a little like the first noble truth: life is suffering

Fortunately, the way out of all this sufferings comes with the second noble truth - the origin to suffering is attachment. So then, the trick to "right competition" must be to not get attached to winning or the result.
  
Competition is certainly a detriment when you do it to inflate your ego or get so focused on the end result that you forget about joy of the moment. 

As a teacher, it becomes so obvious when ego starts getting in the way when watching my students. It comes out even if they are simply competing against themselves. They are so lost in their one-pointed attempt to do a, say headstand, or bind in that darn twist, that they can't see it. On the mat, some days I play out similar battles against my own ego. On good days, I will realize it: just chill man, stop torturing yourself. You are making good effort, but now let it go and just enjoy what is.

I certainly think a little competition is fun as long as it is paired with "right effort" and "right motivation". Competition helps to connect with others and can help push your skills-level and sharpen the mind. 


I do admit that perhaps my ego is a little in the game. Of course I would like to see my picture in the Yoga Journal. It'd be a little retribution after becoming a Domestic Yogi before I was ready. But, hey, I am human.

So after evaluating my reasons for entering the Yoga Journal pose contest (right motivation? right effort?), and because I am doing something I love to do (yoga along with my baby), that is why, in the end, I decided I am okay with entering the competition, no matter the outcome.

In fact, I've been quite pleased about the journey.  It has been wonderful to connect positively with others over my silly little picture.

I love inspiring mothers to continue practicing yoga after their baby, and want to inspire them (with my pictures and blog) to try and bring their practice off the mat and into their parenting.

If you agree, please click over and vote by pressing the RATE button.

Thanks so much for everyone's positive feedback and support these last couple weeks! And thanks to talented photographer Venus of Venus Leah Photography for capturing us so beautifully/

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

How To Be a Domestic Yogi

For years I worked on developing my one-pointed awareness and mindfulness through asana, mediation and Buddhist tantric practices in order to find some sort of deeper realization into the nature of reality. Single, without kids, a stable job, I had the luxury of time and money to devote to my "personal development."

Now, as The Domestic Yogi, with two young children and many demands on my time, I do not have the luxury of time to spend on diving down deep into such practices. I am still obsessed with awakening the divine within, but now I am more concerned with living as consciously and compassionately as possible. 

The tricky part of being a Domestic Yogi is bringing these "deeper truths" that I've unearthed in my previous practices, into real life and living them fully each moment to moment. 

As the full-time care-giver of small children, sometimes I don't even have the luxury of being able to think a complete thought in my own head during the day. Children have a natural way of forcing you, ready or not, into each moment. The hard part, is staying mindful.

A friend recently asked me what yoga means to me. Before I had children, I would have answered the question much differently. Running off and meditating in a cave and isolating yourself is important so that realizations can be attained, but now I see, it is equally important to share that wisdom with others, and to be a "living example" of the Truth. 

Yoga to me means constant connection to ones inner truth or inner divinity, which of course is the same as universal truth, while still remaining grounded and functioning in this world, especially to benefit others. As a Domestic Yogi, staying fully connected yet available and present is key. Yoga isn't just an asana practice, it is an 8-fold path and way of living. 

But how does one stay fully connected and stay present each moment each day?

Ahh, my friends, that IS the path and the practice of the Domestic Yogi!

In my posts to follow, I will explore a few ways to help other inspiring domestic yogis stay centered, connected and present. Better yet, how to do it while being present and playful with your loved-ones! I will share with you my experiences and thoughts on right mindfulness & concentration, compassion & creativity, and how they help you to drop into the moment and BE. 

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Just Laugh, Love and Give Full Attention

My squealing laughing cooing baby
All that my little girl wants to do now, while awake, is watch and engage with the world. By engaging, I mean laugh. A lot. What a joy babies are at five-months!

I remember equally enjoying it when my son was this age. It must be because they are still small and baby-like, but are much more happy and independent than newborns. 

It makes me realize that babies only really do need two things the first year of their life: love and attention. 

It was quite easy the first time around to envelope my son in my utmost love and attention. Any negative energy that came his way, I became so conscious of it. I didn't try to shelter him completely from negative energy, as that is just life. But I did "protect" him as best as I could.

Now with a three-year-old it is more difficult to give my baby all my attention and love. Thankfully my baby is naturally patient. Often I look over and see her watching me with wide loving eyes full of curiosity. I can't help but to stop my task at-hand, and go over and engage with her. There is always a smile or maybe a laugh  or a squeal waiting for me.

Just now as I write, she is looking at me talking in her own little way. I look over and talk back, and then go back to my writing. This brings me to my next point...

Giving my baby, or either of my children, my full attention is a constant battle. I feel like they are always fighting for my undivided attention. I know how absolutely thrilling it is to get anyones full, undivided attention. I remember being a child and what an absolute thrill it was to have an adult engage with me (or with other children) full on. It made me feel so special.

Not only do I know how thrilling and empowering it is to get someone's full attention, but I know how absolutely important it is to raise self-assured children. 

Yet, with the boredom and isolation that often comes with being at home with the kids, and with technology at hand, I admit, I am often distracted.  

Texting while breastfeeding baby and playing cars on the couch with my son. Yes, I did it. I am not proud. Sometimes it is a better option than calling, because the children really would have none of that. A simple "sorry, we can't play today we are sick" text seems justifiable. But sometimes it is just not as urgent, and I can't fight the urge to just text, or status update, or write...

I suppose balancing technology, household tasks, mommy-only-time, kid-time, work-time, and all else we do as householders is just part of being an modern-day-parent. Just like we will have to teach our children how to manage their own time spent with technology vs. people.  And show them how important it is to fully engage with the world. And by engage, I mean laugh. A lot.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The Double Buzz

You know that buzz you get while doing something you are deeply passionate about? Wonder how you can increase that buzz (uh, naturally)?

Try sharing your passion. Do it out of love for what you are doing. Do it in the spirit of sharing. Do it for free. Blamo. The double buzz.

Since the end of January, I have been offering a free weekly yoga class at my home "studio". With the new baby, I hadn't been teaching much and missed it. It was a great way to keep my home practice inspired, as well to keep my spirits up knowing I was helping others in my own way. I love teaching yoga. It is such a great way to help others connect to their body, drop out of their minds, and open up to something deeper.

Creating a sacred space and time to share yoga with friends I care so much about infuses light and joy into my very being. Especially when I know many would otherwise not be able to attend a class.

In doing this, it has created a small a sense of community and connection for me. As well, I feel empowered that we battled through the February blues together!

I also wrote an article (another passion for me) for an incredible inspiring new organization called Heiny Helpers. Three mothers from Bloomington, Indiana love cloth diapering so much, that they wanted to share that passion with others who were less financially fortunate.

"By providing reusable cloth diapers to families facing financial hardship, we enable parents to do something better than throw their money in the trash. Not to mention help the environment at the same time.”

Heiny Helpers just started in late January, and already have kept 140,000 diapers out of landfill by putting 20 babies in cloth full-time! Fourteen more are waiting for diapers.

This organization inspires me on so many different levels. It has brought private businesses and organizations in Bloomington together to help make Heiny Helpers a success. Not to mention all the donations from individuals. This little organization is doing big things for the  environment and helping families save money and keep their babies healthier!

I ask you now, what can you do to share your passion???

Friday, April 1, 2011

I Need Your Vote! Yoga Journal Pose Contest


Yoga Journal is doing a Pose Contest and I would love to see a photo in there of a mother and her baby doing yoga - pushing the boundaries of a main stream yoga mag. 

If you would too, check out the photo of my daughter and me, and please VOTE  by clicking here. It is really easy - you just have to push the RATE button.

The contest runs until April 15th. You can vote up to once a day!

Many thanks for your vote! And a big thanks to Venus of Venus Leah Photography for taking such a beautiful photo of us! More photos from our shoot coming soon!